Danny Guspie asked:


Here are some examples of typical problems divorced dads regularly face, and their initial solutions, which you must test and observe. If you are getting the results you want, then see what you can do to gain momentum and acceleration by intensifying what you are doing. However, if it’s making things worse, stop and re-evaluate. Do something different if necessary.

SPECIFIED ACCESS ORDERS

Danny, can you give us an example of what you mean by specific times? Are you talking like every second weekend from Friday and 6 p.m.?

The typical first of orders that dads initially get don’t have any specifics when it comes to access / visitation unless if they are with an inexperienced lawyer or are representing themselves without doing the necessary educational work beforehand.

For example, an order should specify that you will pick up the kid at 6:00 on Friday and drop the child off at 6:00 Sunday, then if the child is not there or they are not answering the phone, then all of sudden you can say, “I followed these instructions and I’m not able to see my child.” When you bring it back to a Family Court Judge for enforcement and Police assistance.

Then you are able to start taking it up notch by notch, as is necessary to get compliance from Mom, or the Court to begin taking action if Mom refuses to comply.

But here is the problem that most people do not realize and they do not recognize. They believe that the justice system is going to be absolutely fair and unbiased and perfect. And, it’s a slow and expensive process. Nothing goes quickly, and you must get used to that fact.

We do not live in a perfect world.

We live in an extremely unfair world. Murderers are set free early for committing horrendous crimes. Family court is no different. There are good judges. There are bad judges. There are indifferent judges.

Even judges have bad days.

It comes down to this fact at the end of the day: You have got to be the educated party and be very, very vigorous with the game plan in order to make significant progress. If you do not have a game plan, then you are essentially adrift. If you are adrift, you are at the mercy of the biases and the bigotry that goes on at Family Court.

We know that the Family Courts often seem to favor mothers and to the detriment of the children. However we know that moms and dads are important to children. That is a fact, and no amount of social science theory is going to change that fact. Just watch how young children love to horse around with their fathers.

I’ve seen judges throw the book at mothers who misbehave and I had seen judges who award custody to fathers when they have been able to prove the case. It is not as easy when you are a father, but it can be done. We have done a plenty of times here for a lot of fathers that we helped over the years.

CHRISTMAS EVE PHONE CALLS

Some divorced dads have asked us: Will it be possible for me to at least talk with my 5-year-old daughter on Christmas night? Does her mom have the absolute right to not let me speak with our daughter? What if she does, do I have a right to change that or call her?

Is there a way to get around that since we live in different cities, different states/provinces? Is there any official who can help me with an order that allows me to call my daughter? Is there a common family law which rules equally in different places?

Let us start at the beginning of this. If you have got someone who is misbehaving in the first place, you have got to be very, very vigorous in going after that kind of behavior. If you let it slide, you have acquiesced to what it is that is taking place.

What that means is this: There is a principle in law that if you do not do something about a wrong when it occurs, then in essence you are agreeing to it. You are saying it is okay and it is not a problem.

In other words, your inaction means it is okay with you You’ve consented by virtue of your actions or inactions.

So, even though in truth, it is not okay with you, but you did not know what to do, so you have been kind of sitting on the sidelines thinking, “What can I do about it?” That actually works against you.

It is almost like you have to reverse psychology of the bully. The bully will keep prodding and prodding and prodding and prodding to get their way. You have got to be vigorous, but in a friendly way.

In other words, do not give up. Do not just sit back and say, “Well, I don’t know what to do now.” Or “It is too frustrating” or “I don’t wanna do this.” If you take that route, you can’t complain about it.

Let’s face it. You’re going through not only the financial constraints, the emotional constraints, but the obstacles of not being educated about how the Family Court operates. It is almost like you have to start thinking like a lawyer to be able to defend yourself.

That can be pretty difficult.

However, you need to know that there are many, many divorced dads who have successfully learned the skills necessary to succeed.

I should know I am one of those dads. And I have helped countless divorced dads to win when there cases seemed impossible to win. But it takes time, patience, skill, and the winning attitude. Be prepared to give up the things that are hurting your case. Sometimes divorced dads can be their own worst enemy, because they seek perfect justice instead of a swift successful strategy that has worked for many divorced dads.

You can make it if you try. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.



Joseph Wyatt

PhoenixBlaze asked:


What does a family court lawyer do? Is there an article online that tells about it? What is the average salary range? What types of people would you generally deal with? How often would you have case, and what kinds of cases? Thanks. And would you get to argue in court?

Aylin Day

my husband’s wife asked:


A non-citizen jumped bail on a minor charge in a family court & fled to home country. Will the person ever be arrested by an Interpol, for example?

Brett Bauer

Danny Guspie asked:


DISCLAIMER: The following is NOT legal advice, nor is it a substitute for legal advice. If you are in Family Court you will need legal advice, so please see a lawyer.

Often, when a divorced dad goes to Family Court, he fails to realize the value of having a GREAT strategy comes down to POSITIONING.

In my experience, the best positions to be in are these:

(a) person who is no longer angry;

(b) person who is levelheaded;

(c) person who has not lost perspective; and/or

(d) person who still has a sense of respectful humour.

To assume any of these positions, first of all, you have to come to an acceptance of your role in the situation to begin with.

All successful fathers that I have ever met, and this will include me I raised two children as a single father, have to come to the recognition that you picked your wife and she picked you.

What does that say about both of you?

More often than not, you go in family court everyday and what you hear is she is crazy, he is crazy, he is no good, she is no good. The judge is up there going like “Gosh, it’s only 10:30, what time does my golf game start? I am sick and tired of hearing this crap.”

Then they think well, there is no golf in December if they live in the north where it’s snowing so their mind wanders to something more pleasant. So begin with the presumption, especially if it’s late in the day when you are before a Judge that they are tired and cranky from listening to people complain all day long, but rarely accept responsibility.

When you know what the truth of the matter is, you have got to be very, very clever and slowly but surely slicing and dicing your way when your are questioning other side’s arguments. Help me to understand what it is that you are saying, help me to understand how that is to the best interest of the children, how does that all work?

My best suggestion – Go in there with the attitude “You know what, Your Honor? I picked her, she picked me, we have made a mess, here’s how we can make it better, let’s see if we can roll the peanut up the road a bit today.

The last part is for levity. To break the ice. BE careful though. Some Judges don’t like levity. Attend Court and observe Judges. Study then learn to read your audience (the particular Judge you are in front of). Learn what they like and dislike and govern yourself accordingly.

Above all – advocate for the children. That means, do not be waging war. Instead, wage peace.

Here’s how: Try and explain how things are good for the children. The judges do not care about what is good for you. Very often, many divorced dads feel the judges do not care what is good for the children. But I see in watching in court a good 50-60% of the time that the way things are expressed is all in terms of what it is GOOD FOR YOU as opposed to WHAT IS GOOD FOR THE CHILDREN. If you change the direction of your sales pitch to the Judge, and frame it in terms how it benefits the children that is going to be a major improvement to your game plan.

It comes down to what words are you using. How are you presenting it to the judge? Let’s put it into an easy to understand context. Here are two example questions:

What do I do if my wife says no to Christmas? How can I enforce my court order to see my daughter during the holidays?

The fact is, if you do go into an emergency situation in front of a judge and say, “Can you please explain to me how this is of any benefit to my daughter that I do she won’t have some time with me so we can share the spirit of Christmas together?”, that is a totally different way of approaching it. Most people would be upset about the situation to the point of being angry in front of the Judge.

That’s just allowing yourself to be set-up for your ex-wife for the kill. She’ll be tearful in front of the Judge saying Who me? I’m not saying no, he’s so angry your honor look at him now, can you see why I am afraid of him?

Got it? This happens so often to divorced dads you’d think they’d wake up to the shenanigans of their ex-wives. But many fall into this trap all of the time.

A better action step is understanding the terrain, having an accurate map. You have to go into Family Court and start learning the ropes. If you do not do that, then you do not have an understanding of really what is going on, how it is going on, the subtlety of the things that are going on, a lot of this is just going over your head.

You are making decisions based on the lack of knowledge rather than knowledge itself which brings us to step three, education, finding and emulating models of success. When you go into court, you are going to see dads that get fried and then you are going to see dads who get what it is that they are looking for.

If you watch this process, you are going to see judges making the same decisions again and again and again. So, if you go in there and watch and you find successful models, you have to take those strategies and begin adapting them to your situation. Go talk to lawyers who are winning for fathers.

Go talk to those fathers who are in there by themselves and winning on their own terms and sit there and watch how judges decide things. I am telling you, if you sit there for an entire day, by 2:00 in the afternoon you are going to be predicting probably with about 90% accuracy what the judges are going to do.

If you cannot make it to the courts all the time, I do recommend watching Judge Judy or any of the Judge Judy type of programs. It is a great start because you will start to be able to predict what is going to happen. It is amazing.

People are creatures of habit. They keep doing the same things again and again and again.

So, plan your victory. Understand how to corner and expose the truth.

Corner and expose the truth. What do I mean by that? I am going to presume that all of you at one time or another stole a cookie out of the cookie jar and got nailed by mom. How did that happen? First of all, you denied that you even took a cookie in the first place by the fact that there were crumbs coming out of your mouth and there was a trail of crumbs leading all the way back to the cookie jar.

And there was a missing cookie.

So, you were in front of a television set and a big pile of crumbs sitting in front of you. So, mom started asking 20 questions until finally you had no other choice but to admit that you were lying.

You’ve got to look at what evidence you have and work the trail out. But you’ve got to first get a hold of your emotions in order to not blow your opportunities in front of the Family Court Judge.

It takes discipline and practice but the resulting payoff can be ENORMOUS.



Vanesa Moran

david slepkow asked:


A partition case in Rhode Island (RI) is an equitable, legal action in which a person corporation or legal entity can force the sale of real estate against another co-owner or life tenant. Partition cases can be a result of many different types of real property disputes between owners or life tenants or other people with interests in the property as set forth in the Rhode Island statute.  A partition case can involve either residential or commercial real estate.

If a partition lawsuit is filed and there is no defense to the actual partition then the Court will appoint a commissioner to sell the real estate. Please note that there are usually no defenses to the actual partition. A potential defense which is rarely successful is that the property could be divided by meets and bounds. Another possible defense could be that the entity has no legal right to do the partition because they do not qualify under the Rhode Island statute or don’t have proper legal title to the property etc. There are other potential defenses that are not set forth in this article.

In the vast majority of partition cases, there is no way to stop the partition of the property unless there is a settlement.  If there is no settlement, the Rhode Island Superior Court will appoint a commissioner to sell the property. In some limited circumstances a partition case can be filed in the Rhode Island Family Court. A Partition Action in the RI Family Court would usually be in the context of a post divorce action involving third party owners or even a divorce involving third parties

When a commissioner is appointed to sell the real estate, the parties lose a lot of control over the sale of the property.  A commissioner is an independent Rhode Island Attorney / lawyer appointed by the Superior Court Judge.  A commissioner will be very expensive to the parties because the commissioner legal fees will be taken from the proceeds of the sale before the distribution to the parties.

The commissioner may also hire other real estate experts such as a real estate appraiser to do a appraisal of the property. The commissioner may also search title to the property or hire a title examiner to determine if any other parties have an interest in the real estate. The title examiner or commissioner would need to search title at the registry of deeds. If there are title issues concerning the property the commissioner may incur legal fees to resolve the title issues. Other parties with an interest in the real estate may need to be joined as parties. The commissioner will also hire a realtor to list the real estate for sale on the open market. The commissioner will usually agree to pay the realtor the prevailing commission rate. The Realtor will be paid his or her commision at the real estate closing. Either party to the partition lawsuit, the plaintiffs or the defendants may be given an opportunity to purchase the property so long as they are willing to pay the fair market value of the real estate.

In a vast majority of the partition cases a settlement of the case is reached before a commissioner is appointed. This allows the parties to avoid the expense of the commissioner and avoid other legal fees for the parties lawyers / attorneys. If the case is not settled then the commissioner will sell the property and put the proceeds of the sale into the registry of Court and the parties can then argue as to who is entitled to those proceeds. The commissioner may need to deal with eviction issues or landlord tenant issues related to nonpayment of rent.

After the property is sold by the commissioner the parties have a right to argue as to what interest they have to the proceeds that are being held by the Court. The parties have a right to a hearing / trial on the merits concerning their respective rights to the proceeds. The parties can dispute and argue about issues concerning payment of taxes, assessments, condominium issues, insurance, condominium fees, mortgage payments, payments of the home equity line, payment of lines of credit secured by the real estate, utilities, payment of heat, electric, water, maintenance of the property, upkeep, additions, rent of tenants, remodeling issues, contracts between the parties, payment of condo fees, common maintenance fees, legal fees etc. The Superior Court Judge or potentially a Jury (if applicable) will determine these issues.

Partition cases are often filed in the context of family disputes between family members who are feuding or cannot agree whether or not to sell the property. In some instances the family dispute concerns who is responsible to pay for taxes, insurance, additions, maintenance or upkeep of the property. Sometimes, the parties cannot agree to the reasonable fair market value of the property.

In other instances the family members just hate each other and their animosity leads to vindictiveness and eventually to a partition lawsuit in Court.  Many of these feuds are long standing family disputes and issues between brothers and sisters, parents and children, uncles, cousins, or other distant relatives. These cases are particular sad when they involve fathers or mothers feuding with their children (son or daughter)

In some cases, the property is viewed as a valuable family homestead passed down through the generations to one member of the family while the other member of the family wants to sell the property (home) and cash out the equity in the property.

Partition cases also are filed in the context of boyfriends and girlfriends breakups , or significant others who are involved in nasty breakups or even amicable breakups and cannot agree on what share of the proceeds each of the parties will receive upon the sale of the real estate. Partition cases can also be the result of a homosexual / gay relationships terminating. Since Rhode Island does not have gay marriages, gay couples who cannot agree on what to do with the real estate of their domestic partnership may have to file a partition case in Superior Court. Rhode Island Family Court Does not have jurisdiction over these types of disputes.

Partition actions can also be filed in the context of other types of disputes. A Life tenant  with a life estate can seek to force the sale of the property against the owner of the property. A life tenant is a person with a deeded life estate with the right to live on the property for the remainder of his or her life. When the life tenant dies the life estate is extinguished. The life tenant can seek a sale of the property and can seek to partition the property.



Tanya Lindsey

waseem Ahmad Lone asked:


 

 

          The differences between the husband and the wife in a marital life is something to which no couple could be an exception. However the dispute becomes grave when one partner decides to seek the counsel of a Lawyer to avail the legal remedies. Naturally the other partner also joins the chorus by seeking his share of legal remedies. A simple dispute that could be settled by admitting a mistake now blows beyond the limits of possibility of mutual patch up. When a lawyer hears to the woeful tail of one partner or the other, the straitjacket procedures of law begin to override the delicate and emotional cord of love and affection that holds a couple together. Invariably a wife is advised to file a suit for maintenance and a suit for custody of the child whereas the husband is asked to divorce the wife so that she cannot claim maintenance.

 

          It is said that when a lawyer represents a person before the Hon’ble Court he steps into the shoes of that person meaning thereby that his perception of the problem is taken to be the perception of his client. The Lawyer would perceive a marital dispute like any other dispute. He is trained to advise his client about the methods of exploiting the existing law to his best advantage and to the detriment of the other party. The social, psychological and emotional aspects of the problem have no bearing on his handling of the case unless of course if he is personally having such orientation of mind as to take into account such aspects of a problem.

 

          As such a question arises that is a lawyer a person competent to handle the dispute arising between of a husband and wife? Does it not require a delicate touch to heal the wounds of shattered partners when the dispute takes the centre stage in their marital life? Probably every social scientist would agree with me if I say that a lawyer is not competent to handle such a situation. It would be correct even to say that even our courts are not equipped to address the delicate and emotional issues of marital life.

 

          Our law has been framed based on the premise that women in our society are weak and infirm. Criminal Procedure Code provides that a women is entitled to maintenance from her husband if he neglects her. she can enforce the same through the court of law. She may also claim maintenance for her children. A lawyer advises her to file maintenance suit on her behalf and on behalf of their children. As a measure of interim relief the wife is granted an interim maintenance say of rupees one thousand or two thousand. Now, since the husband has to pay an assured sum as ordered by the court to his wife against his will, the differences becomes more sharp leading to a point of no return.

 

          A question that arises, “Is a maintenance awarded because the husband refuses to maintain her?” As I perceive the dispute arises on something else may be mother in law and wife is not getting along well or the wife insists to have a separate home for herself or else the couple is not getting along well etc. etc. So the dispute is not that husband refuses to maintain his wife. The dispute is that relationship is not working on the expected lines for both the husband and wife. The maintenance that is supposed to protect a woman from being neglected is not used for its intended purpose but instead becomes a weapon of fight and intimidation in the hands of a wife.

 

          The law as it is and the procedures that we adopt do not help the disputing couple as it ought to. The wife is perennially left to sustain on the meager sum awarded as maintenance. The Children of such a couple become victims of the dispute between parents. The husband is in perennial mess as he has to maintain the wife who refuses to live with him and who inculcates hatred in his children against him as a matter of revenge. The prolonged litigation adds to the woes of such husband, wife and children. The couple spends their prime time of youth in fighting the legal battle. In the process they loose sight of the old age ahead and when it approaches they realize that they have lost everything to the marital dispute.

 

          To conclude my discussion I think a serious thought needs to be given to the whole process of marital disputes and the laws prevailing in this field. A marital dispute is a social and emotional issue and so the laws and the framework of the redress ought to be alive to such dimensions so that a better mechanism for handling such disputes can be evolved. The solution perhaps lies in setting up of separate family courts. The law as it is needs to looked at afresh to create a mechanism for counseling to such couples as a measure of pre-litigation process so that the consequences that such a dispute has for the husband, wife and the children could be avoided.

 

 



Albert Mullen

asked:


I met a girl who’s going through a divorce and said she had no kids. But when I looked her up on line it says it scheduled in family court.

Paola Horton

joceytinamom asked:


I have court next week and it’s just like a 6-month follow-up on our family case.The father of my two little girls has not complied with anything what was established in mediation. Random-drug testing before visitations, N.A meetings, Individual therapy. He has even missed quite a few visitations, or at time has not even showed-up at all nad when he does show it his mother doing all the taking care of his responsibilities. Please some advices would be greatly appreciated.

Anastasia Lane

JRo321 asked:


I have been told that the judgement we received from family court may be appealed. How does an appeal work in the Massachusetts probate and family court system? I’m having trouble finding information online, so any help is appreciated. Thanks! I am not the one appealing the judgement, it is the other parent.

Kianna Osborne

blue asked:


Or do you know who one would contact when they believe there has been a misjustice done by the family court systems in their county?. In other words, how can a person defend themselves against such an agency when they have no access to a lawyer?

Tiffany Nunez